21 August, 2007


Let me just apologize for all the whiny well-intended earth lovin', granola crunchin', hybrid drivin' holier-than-thous that are never satisfied with whatever you're doing or not doing. There's a lot of them out there, and they seem outraged if your coffee's not organic, or if it is organic, it's not fair trade coffee beans, or if it is fair trade coffee, you didn't bring your own cup, or you're drove to the coffee shop and they walked 22 miles to drink their fairly traded organic soy yerba matte latte, and they brought their own god-damn bag to take their organic scone with them. While I admire the fact that they knitted that bag, or reused junk mail to hand-make the paper to make their own bag, I must admit the self-righteous indignation or any and everything you're about to (un)do gets a bit tiring. Irksome. Personally, it makes me want to litter sometimes. Right in front of them. What are they going to do about it? Yeah, that's right, earth-freak, I got my Hummer to back it up.

Here's hoping I never nag at you, dear reader, even if you are my mother and you're reading this to support your m' ijacita linda. Even if you're not my mother (which I doubt, but let's just say) I would never want to nag you for drinking Yuban, for shopping at Walmart, for driving over my foot in your gas guzzling Hummer. Never. You just do your part, whatever that is. It, small act as it may be, is a wonderful step towards a better future, a better you.

Blaze your whole house with halogens, scoff at those oddly charming CFLs on sale at Ace Hardware, see if I care. Leave your grocery bags at home, and take your canned peas and carton of cigarettes home in a double plastic bag. Smother your tomatoes with Round-up, eat Dophin-unsafe Tuna, go ahead ! It's your god-given right to be wasteful! If He didn't want us to drill in the Artic, He wouldn't have given us the ability to make drills, am I right?

Ok, I do mind. I just don't want to nag you. Just promise me gentle reader, no, promise yourself, that you'll consider doing one thing, one thoughtful thing. For yourself, your community, your planet. Let me know about it. And I'll mail you a nice thank-you card. Made on recycled paper and compostable ink, of course. Definitely.

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